Approval-seeking

Approval-seeking is a behavioral trait characterized by a strong desire to gain the positive regard, validation, and acceptance of others. Individuals exhibiting this trait often prioritize the opinions and judgments of external sources, potentially leading to actions driven by a need to please rather than genuine personal preferences or values. This can manifest in various forms, including a tendency to conform, over-apologize, or readily accept criticism in order to maintain a favorable image and avoid disapproval. At its core, Approval-seeking stems from an underlying need for security, belonging, or a fear of rejection.

Approval-seeking meaning with examples

• Sarah, constantly checking her social media for likes and comments after posting a photo, exhibited Approval-seeking behavior. Her happiness seemed tied to the online validation, and she'd edit her posts to make them more popular. This desire for external acceptance showed her sensitivity about how people view her, and her worth was derived from these interactions. It shows how much she needed others' approval to feel good.
• During the presentation, Mark continuously sought nods and smiles from the audience, pausing frequently to gauge their reactions and adjusting his tone to appear agreeable. His Approval-seeking tendencies were apparent. He adapted the presentation to avoid dissent. This created a distraction during the presentation, undermining the strength of his ideas. His comfort rested more in the viewers’ perception of him than in the presentation.
• Instead of expressing her true feelings, Emily often agreed with her friends' opinions, even when she held opposing viewpoints. Her reluctance to disagree showcased Approval-seeking behavior, rooted in a fear of conflict or social exclusion. Her behaviour made her a weak friend. Her desire to fit in trumped any wish to have a meaningful and honest conversation. The outcome was a loss of respect.
• John constantly over-apologized, even for minor inconveniences, displaying Approval-seeking behavior, hoping to appease others and avoid any potential criticism. His frequent apologies appeared in the form of an attempt to defuse a potentially negative reaction. He constantly lowered his self-esteem through excessive contrition. His need for approval meant any small mistake was a big problem.
• After a performance review, Jessica focused intently on the few negative comments, neglecting the positive feedback. Her strong reaction suggested Approval-seeking tendencies, where the fear of disapproval dominated. She was more concerned about her weaknesses than her strengths. Her worry about failing meant she was less able to build upon any success, stunting her work performance.