Codependence

Codependence is a behavioral condition in which a person allows another person's behavior to affect them, and they become obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. Often found in relationships with addicts, or those with mental health issues, it involves an unhealthy reliance on others for a sense of self-worth and identity. Codependent individuals often prioritize the needs of others above their own, leading to a loss of personal boundaries, suppressed emotions, and a tendency to enable unhealthy behaviors. This pattern typically develops over time and is often rooted in childhood experiences. The codependent individual may experience anxiety, depression, and feelings of resentment and powerlessness.

Codependence meaning with examples

• Sarah's husband struggled with alcohol. She constantly monitored his drinking, cleaned up his messes, and made excuses for him. This codependent behavior, driven by her fear of his anger and rejection, enabled his addiction, preventing him from facing the consequences of his actions. She neglected her own well-being and was trapped in a cycle of rescuing him. This pattern harmed both of them and their marriage.
• John's wife was struggling with depression. He canceled his hobbies, changed his career, and constantly attempted to cheer her up. He was constantly trying to please her and did everything for her to make her happy. This, in turn, created further issues in his own life and ultimately hampered her therapeutic process, as she never learned to cope with her problems independently.
• Mary’s teenage daughter was engaging in self-harm, and she constantly pleaded with her daughter to stop, tried finding her, and contacted her friends. This behavior was her primary focus. Mary's life was in a constant state of worry and control, ultimately fueled by her love and fear for her child, but it was a codependent response that prevented them both from seeking healthy support.
• David felt responsible for his friend's financial troubles. He constantly lent him money, even when he knew his friend wouldn't pay him back. David's actions, motivated by a need to be liked and a fear of conflict, only worsened his friend's irresponsible financial habits and left David feeling stressed and resentful. He sacrificed his own financial stability, creating a very challenging cycle for both of them.
• After a family member experienced an eating disorder, Jane's attention shifted from her children, partner, and career to this person. Jane was monitoring all their actions, planning meals, and enforcing strict rules. The focus on the family member's behavior neglected Jane's own needs and contributed to the family dynamic of a codependent cycle where the family member never took responsibility.