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Enabler

An Enabler is someone who facilitates or supports the harmful behavior of another person, often without intending to do so. This support can take many forms, including covering up for the person's actions, making excuses, providing financial assistance, or simply avoiding confrontation. Enablers may act out of love, guilt, fear, or a desire for control, but their actions ultimately allow the destructive behavior to continue and worsen. The enabler's actions often create a cycle of dependency, where the person with the problem relies on the Enabler and becomes less motivated to change or seek help. Furthermore, enablers may also be inadvertently enabling the person with the problem, by not having a difficult conversation or by avoiding any direct involvement. Their actions usually benefit the problem's person, because they are able to do what they were going to do. Ultimately, enablers can hurt themselves in a variety of ways, including emotionally and financially.

Enabler meaning with examples

  • Sarah constantly bailed her son out of debt, paying his rent and covering his credit card bills, even though he was struggling with a gambling addiction. This enabled his behavior, as he felt no need to change his spending habits. She was effectively supporting his destructive behavior, thinking she was helping.
  • John, a manager, consistently covered for his underperforming employee, making excuses for late work and missed deadlines to the team and the company. Instead of addressing the issue, John allowed the behavior to persist, fostering a lack of accountability in the employee's professional life.
  • Mary, aware of her partner's drinking problem, always made excuses to family and friends for his inappropriate behavior. By shielding him from the consequences of his actions, she enabled the continuation of his alcoholism and hindered his recovery. This made him dependent.
  • The family, despite knowing their relative’s drug use, would regularly supply money. They allowed him to buy drugs, and avoided any confrontation to the detriment of their own well-being. This action made it so that he would continue with drug usage.
  • The government continued providing funds to a failing company that was unsustainable. It would have been better for society to allow the company to collapse rather than support its actions. Continuing to provide funds meant the company continued to operate, but wasn't sustainable.

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