Passive-aggressive

Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings rather than openly addressing them. It's characterized by subtle acts of defiance, obstructionism, and covert hostility. Individuals exhibiting this behavior often appear compliant or even pleasant on the surface but express their resentment or anger through procrastination, inefficiency, sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or deliberate mistakes. This communication style avoids direct confrontation, offering a veneer of agreement while undermining or sabotaging the intended goal. The underlying motivation is typically to control, punish, or manipulate without taking direct responsibility for their actions or emotions.

Passive-aggressive meaning with examples

• During a team project, Sarah agreed to handle the presentations, but consistently 'forgot' to prepare them until the last minute, causing significant stress and problems for everyone. This behavior allowed her to show her unhappiness with the team's plan without explicitly saying so, a clear passive-aggressive tactic. This left her appearing accommodating while avoiding her assigned responsibility.
• John consistently agreed to his wife's requests for help around the house, but would then move slowly, offer minimal effort, and make comments about being tired. He would 'accidentally' break things while cleaning. His behavior showed his frustration and resentments without direct argument, which led to his passive-aggressive behavior.
• After being criticized during a meeting, Emily agreed with her boss's points with a smile but then purposely missed deadlines and 'forgot' to follow instructions. This way, she was able to express her annoyance about the criticism through undermining her boss without needing to explicitly disagree in an argument. This is an act of passive-aggressive behaviour.
• Mark agreed to a weekend camping trip but complained constantly about the weather and lack of amenities, making sure everyone knew how miserable he was. This indirect expression of his true feelings about going camping rather than speaking up was a clear example of passive-aggressive communication. This allowed him to avoid direct confrontation.
• When asked if he had completed a task, David would respond with a vague "I'll get to it soon", then fail to do so for days, knowing it would cause inconvenience. His unwillingness to commit, and then his actions to be inefficient and unreliable, are examples of his passive-aggressive behavior. His actions are intended to show the effect of his feelings of hostility.