Reassurance-seeking refers to the behavior or tendency to repeatedly solicit validation, comfort, or confirmation from others to alleviate anxieties, doubts, or fears. This can manifest in a variety of ways, from frequently asking 'Are you sure?' or 'Is everything okay?' to needing constant praise, approval, or physical contact. Often, this behavior stems from underlying insecurities, low self-esteem, or a history of difficult experiences, and may be a maladaptive coping mechanism for managing distress. The individual experiences a temporary sense of relief after receiving reassurance, but the underlying anxieties often return, prompting the cycle of seeking it again, leading to a self-perpetuating cycle of dependence on external validation, with the seeking often intensifying under stress. It can also involve a constant need for clarity and certainty in a world full of unknowns. This is a normal behavior to an extent; however, it is when it becomes excessive, persistent, and interferes with daily life, that it becomes problematic and potentially indicative of an underlying psychological concern.
Reassurance-seeking meaning with examples
- After their job interview, Sarah relentlessly texted her friend, asking if she seemed confident, if her answers were good, and if the interviewer appeared impressed, showing signs of reassurance-seeking. She needed constant feedback to calm her nerves and believe she performed adequately. Her friend's reassurances briefly eased her anxiety, but the feelings quickly resurfaced.
- Mark, plagued by doubts about his relationship, repeatedly asked his partner if they were still happy, loved him, and saw a future together, exhibiting reassurance-seeking. He needed verbal affirmations and displays of affection to dispel his fears of abandonment. These repeated inquiries strained his partner, highlighting the negative impact of the behaviour on his relationships.
- Following a minor health concern, Emily compulsively researched her symptoms online and frequently called her doctor, seeking reassurance that everything was alright, illustrating Reassurance-seeking tendencies. She found it hard to trust medical advice without multiple validations. Her intense anxiety around her health manifested in frequent doctor visits and questioning of test results.
- John, despite being highly capable, frequently asked his supervisor for feedback on completed tasks and sought constant approval, a clear example of reassurance-seeking. He needed constant external confirmation of his competence to feel secure. This behavior hampered his independence and caused a perceived lack of confidence in his own abilities, despite his successes.